A Nation of Cynics

Two very different men jumped into the political arena last week: Noam Shalit, the engineer from the north and the father of Gilad Shalit and Yair Lapid, the TV and newspaper personality and son of the late Tommy Lapid, TV and newspaper personality, Knesset member, and government minister.

I was surprised to see that the reaction to their announcements was very similar. Cynicism. A knee-jerk reaction that these to must be joining the political game for personal gain. That they couldn't possibly be doing what they're doing for, let's not say 'pure,' but at least untainted reasons. I found these attitudes to be widespread, in the media, among friends and family, almost everywhere.

It's hardly surprising. We live in a place that seems to feed cynicism and feed from it. A long line of politicians have shown us that we have plenty of reasons to suspect their motives. This applies to politicians from all sorts of parties and not just recently but for a very long time. I'm sure that among our Knesset members there are some that truly think of themselves as public servants; it's just hard to see them. They are buried under the mountain of cheap political operatives whose main driving philosophy is "what's in it for me?" It is these same operatives that benefit from feeding the cynical wave. If everyone is just looking out for him or herself, goes the logic, then there's little sense in exchanging one bum for another.  Shalit and Lapid however, appear to be pols of a different sort and that should worry the entrenched interests. 

Yair Lapid

Consider Lapid's case. Lapid's entry into politics is a good example of an argument against self-interest. It's hard to see how getting elected to the Knesset, even if he makes it there as the head of a largish party, and even if he's named senior minister in the next government, will benefit him. Certainly not financially. Knesset members and ministers make good money, but not when compared to the kind of money that Lapid made until last week as a news anchor (not to mention the income from his regular column in a major newspaper and his very many speaking engagements). The bottom line is that he'll be taking a large cut to his bottom line. So it must be power, right? That's what must be driving him. Well, maybe. To some degree. Even if he's named minister of something relevant (and quite a few of the current batch of "ministers" don't really have enough to do to fill up their days), it'll take time and a lot of effort to make changes, so I don't see how that can be perceived as being any more fun or more fulfilling than his current positions, where he enjoys a great deal of influence and doesn't have to deal with the very dirty business of politics.

Noam Shalit, in a quieter moment

Shalit's case is different, of course. Noam Shalit's job for the last five years was getting his son released from his Hammas kidnappers. He did this by putting pressure on the politicians to do their job. In the process he built an organization that mobilized a huge chunk of the country. Five years later and after bringing Gilad home he must have looked in the mirror and seen a changed man, how could he not. As it happens, Sweetie knows Shalit slightly, having volunteered extensively for the Gilad campaign. She confirmed my earlier intuition, that whatever faults Shalit might have, cynical self-interest is not one of them. I'll bet pounds to pennies that Shalit truly sees public service as a way of giving back. 

Shalit is running within the Labor Party, so I wouldn't vote for him for all the tea in China, but that's because the Labor Party is a dud. Stupid choice of party for him, but not a cynical one, not by a long shot. I've read in quite a few articles that his running for office is an abuse of his notoriety (this one's a good example). Really? I wonder how these writers would feel if Shalit had picked a party that they themselves favor. Food for thought.

Which brings another thought to mind. If Bibi was expecting for Shalit to exhibit some sort of misplaced loyalty and support him in the next elections, he must be sorely disappointed. 

Bibi's future?

And speaking of Bibi (I can't seem to write a single column that ignores him), he reacted to the news of Lapid's entry into politics by being dismissive and derisive in what was clearly an attempt to hide how distraught he really was. Bibi would like nothing better than to make us all believe that Lapid is just as cynical, just as manipulative, just as self-interested as he himself is. Because if we take Lapid at his word, then Bibi is toast.

Two quotes to wrap things up:

Cynicism is the intellectual cripple's substitute for intelligence.

Russell Lynes

Factionalism is the abiding human need to create group conflicts based on religion, politics, race, gender, class 

or whether toilet paper should be pulled over or under the roll.

from The Cynic's Dictionary

Have you no decency sir?

By now we should all be inured to the incredible callousness of the professional politician, a subspecies of the common twerp whose only qualities are loyalty to the party's leader and a low-level cunning and brutality that no doubt come in handy to that same leader every once a while. Sort of like Luca Brasi but without the charm and the elegant manners.

Please meet: Rabbi Meshulam Nahari. Member of the Knesset for the Shas party and Minister of Nothing in the current Israeli Government, party-hack extraordinaire.

As you may of may not know, here in Israel we have a number of political parties that under the cover of religion have taken racketeering to levels of excellence not seen since Caligula made his horse Senator in Rome.  Which might very well be where we got Meshulam Nahari. In my imagination it went down something like this:

A bunch of the Shas guys where sitting around the table some time ago, shooting the s*^t, as wise guys trend to do. They were probably congratulating one another on how smart they were, how they managed to extort some in ungodly amount of money from a government too weak-willed to stand up to them. They might have had something to drink but not necessarily. 

Anyway, Wiseguy No.2 tells the leader about Caligula's horse stunt.

-"For real?", exclaims The Leader, "he really got his horse a job in the Senate?"

-"Just so," answers No. 2, "although I think that they waived the whole wearing-a-toga bit for him."

-"Now THAT is real power," adds No. 3, "getting an unthinking brute into the Senate."

This was beginning to feel like a challenge to The Leader, a real test of his political prowess. So he gives the matter some thought and comes up with this jewel:

-"Appointing a horse to the Senate is nice, but that's not so much of an accomplishment when you're already Emperor of Rome. I'll bet you anything that you want that I can do him one better. If Caligula could get a horse appointed to the Roman Senate, I'll bet you that I can get not only an unthinking brute but a real horse's ass elected to the Knesset."

-"Yeah, right.  And how exactly are you going to accomplish that?"

-"I have some ideas. Do you know Meshulam Nahari?"

In truth, it might have gone down a little differently, but you get the idea.

And what, you might ask, has gotten me so riled up about someone so demonstrably small, so obviously insignificant, so absurdly dumb as bad ol' Meshulam. Well, here it is:

Gilad Shalit (you remember him, don't you?), went to the beach with his dad on the Saturday following his release. Good for him I say, the beach sounds like the right place to decompress and spend some time with family. So far, so good.

Enter the horse's ass. The YNET news service has quoted him saying that instead of going to the beach, Gilad should have gone to the synagogue and recited the traditional prayer of deliverance.

You. Little. Shit.

Religion in Israel is not only big business, it's big politics too and of course right now there is no bigger potential political asset than Gilad Shalit and his family. I'm sure that any party would be happy to have Gilad's endorsement.  However, there are oodles of distance between wishing for Gilad's endorsement and openly, cravenly, seeking to cash in on his notoriety. How Gilad feels about religion is no one's business but his own, how he wishes to spend his time is a decision left only to him. And to you, Minister Meshulam Nahari I say this:


Have you no shame, sir? 

And lest we think that this was Horsey acting on his own, it turns out that he's been 'tasked' by Shas' Great Leader (that's the Leader's boss, in case you're wondering) with "bringing these people [the Shalits] closer to religion." 

Well, Meshulam. If you were to stand on your Leader's shoulders, and he were to stand on the Great Leader's shoulder in turn, you still wouldn't reach Gilad's ankles, so where exactly do you get off telling him what to do or to whom and what to pray for? Do the world a favor and after you apologize contritely to Gilad and his family take a step back and just STFU. OK?

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Mmmmh. That was kind of a long and very angry rant, wasn't it? Pity to waste it. If you, dear reader, would be so kind to help along I think that we could keep this train of thought going for a little longer in the comments section just below. 

If you disagree that Nahari is an idiot I would really like to know why. If you agree, could you help illustrate to the world just how dumb he is? 

Personally, I think that Nahari is so dumb that he's a taco short of a combination plate; a melon ball short of a fruit salad; and that if you moved his plate five inches to the left he'd starve to death.

Your turn.